This Is What It's All About

I remember standing in my kitchen with a mini blow torch in one hand and a glass of wine in the other. I had just flown the red eye back to Miami from California and arrived to find my home in full swing. It was our Sunday bar-b-que with half a dozen families, the children screaming and laughing in the pool. I think they were playing tag. I could hear the other moms yelling for them to stop running while everyone else crowded around the food table, grabbing at plates and watching the football game. This was the perfect successful life; big house, three kids, great husband, thriving business, and I should be super happy, but instead, I could feel the back of my head starting to expand into a migraine. 

I am watching the back of the wife of my husband's very close friend swaying her way through the group, her arm extended up,  holding her glass of wine over her head. She had cornered me in the kitchen, handed me a glass of wine, and watched me brown the tops of the mini–baked Alaskas for a couple of minutes before blurting out the question – "How do you do it?" 

Without skipping a beat, I started explaining the dessert preparation. She leaned in, laughed, put her hand on my arm, and said, "nooo, how do you do it all?" waving her hand in the air.

I glibly responded...  "I just rotated the damage."   I don't know where that came from, but at that moment, I was so pleased with my internal script writers ... little did I know that I was about to hit a wall, taking everyone I loved with me.

A year later, I was face down on the wood floors of my bedroom, bawling, my face wet from the puddle of tears and snot. My life had derailed. All I could think of was how I could get my life "back on track." This was the moment I realized that I had no control. At this moment, what I thought was a beautiful life came crashing down. This is when I learned the hardest lessons about ego and letting go of expectations. These next few years forever shifted my definition of a good life.; a long and hard divorce, moving my kids into what I had hoped would be a happier home, and a new business that failed within four years. At the moment, I hadn't realized that the track I was trying to get back on was a repeat of where I had crashed. After losing everything again and hitting a lower bottom, I finally realized I needed a new set of tracks.

Over the next few years, I learned that falling down was the first step to getting back up. Before I could start building a better life, I had to release my personal traumas. I needed to be kinder to myself and inventory my gifts and gratitude for all the good things. Only then could I rediscover my heart and my dreams and let life flow from there. 

It has been a long journey of recovery and comeback that ultimately has led my own heart-led and joyful life.

Now, through workshops and private sessions, I help others break away from the grind, uncover their gifts and purpose, and learn how to live an intentional heart-led, and joyful life.